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The Colourful Language of Northern Ireland
Bright Spakes
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WARNING! This site is not politically correct. Furthermore, many of the expressions in common usage in Norn Iron are rather vulgar. However it seemed to me that to exclude them for this reason would not give a true picture of the language as it is spoken. I have not recorded them with the intention of causing offence.



(With apologies to my mother, who brought me up to know better than to repeat some of this stuff.)

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"She could eat an apple through a tennis racquet."

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"He was runnin' around like a duck in thunder."

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"He had a hump on like a dog shitein' razor blades."

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"He has a face like a bucket of snotters."

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"He has ears on him like the F.A. Cup."

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"Her gub was goin' like a busted wellie."

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"She had a face like a wet weekend."

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"She was hangin' on his arm like a new bucket."

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"He has a face on him like a slapped arse."

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"She has an ass on her like a Belgian Blue." 

  Norman

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"She wouldn't give you the skin off her skitter."

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"He has a face like a basketful of arseholes."

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"He would make a good pull-through for a rook rifle."

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The pictures used here have been stolen shamelessly from wherever we could find them. If one of them is of you, we have taken a vow of poverty and are not worth suing.

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"Niverborr. Themmuns has nackin' ".